I had the most surreal out of body experience today at work. I was to meet some co-workers in the cafe to talk and share hot-gossip. I arrived late to the lunch because I had a major female emergency. When I arrived in the cafe (the second time), I searched for my co-workers, when I spy’d one team member off in the distance. I was discombobulated because I didn’t recognize anyone at first glance.
As I walked toward the table of 12 plus people, I still had no idea who was at the table but my three friends. As I sat down at the table I recognized a former boss and waved. Immediately, the large man on my left introduced himself and his co-worker to my left as his assistant. Still trying to figure out who the remaining people were at the table, I sat with perma-grin on my face as the other’s talked. I sat back for a moment and felt like I was at a Desi party (mentioned in previous posts) and had no damn idea what they were talking about in Hindi/Urdu.
Anyway, I felt very out of place and and tried to take in the conversations and laughter at one time. The obese man that introduced himself was of importance in the Sales organization. With tan rubbery skin, bright blue eyes and a deep, bellowing voice, he was bellowing about his stint as a karoke singer in his kitchen, naked with shaving cream on his face (ugh). He explained that he was dancing and singing naked when he broke his toe on his granite countertop. The group laughed, probably out of disbelief, and proceeded to talk about gay people and the like. I admit, I was disgusted that these were so-called professional people were talking like they had known all of us since grade school. I think I’m still in disbelief.
Before the group left the female Sales Director proceeded to hug my co-workers and not me. We had not worked for her in over three months. I admit I wasn’t her closest friend. I think she knew I didn’t look up to her and her fake veneers, fake hair extensions, fake boobs, fake nails and fake tan. I was actually surprised that she had wrinkles. She proceeded to talk to my co-worker about tanless sunbathing…for which I thought was awfully immature, but that’s just me. Then again, she was talking to a 27 year old that’s had four plastic surgeries. I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised!
Once they left, I admit I felt 100% better and realized that my decision not to become a sales person was the best decision I had ever made!