LatteAddiction’s Weblog

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Old Men August 9, 2008

Filed under: News of the Weird — latteaddiction @ 3:04 am
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So I had to write today, as I had remembered what had happened to me yesterday and knew I had to blog about it. I realized after visting my dentist again – the 3rd week in a row – that I had to stop at my local neighborhood grocery store for some specialty items…

I slowly made my way through the store looking at the exhorbiant prices. I saw a fly fluttering nearby and vowed not to stick my hand into the little plastic dome as so many before me had with unclean bathroom hands. But, I thought to myself, “I’m sure my desk at work is worst”. So with that I dug my hand deep into the back of the plastic dome and chowed down on the funny white cheese that gave me a strong and pungent aftertaste. “Why did I like cheese so much?” I thought to myself.

I proceeded to pick up my olives, sundried tomatoes, and even sauntered by the dessert section but decided against it, feeling guilty for not going to the gym for 2 weeks. As I gazed at the old man in front of me in line, I thought to myself, “older people must come here because someone still bags their groceries for them.” “What will I do when I’m old?”

The cashier knew him as Tony. “Tony, how many times a day do come in here?” she said. He explained, “Ohhhh, once for lunch and sometimes for groceries”. They proceeded to talk.

How come I always get caught behind the chatty ones? Perhaps I should stop coming here if I want to make a quick stop? Afterall, this is the second time I’ve been caught in line. Tony left and the cashier rung up my items. “$28.34 please… thank you.”

As I left the grocery store making my way toward my car, I noticed Tony walking back toward the store. I thought to myself, “wow, he’s going in again?” Tony passed me by 100 feet when out of the corner of an earshot I heard a loud fart “thhhpppp”. I smiled to myself and looked to the girl in my right corner, making sunglass eye contact, wondering if she too had heard the loud fart. I think she did as she had the same grin as I.

I wondered if Tony even heard himself. They say that old people fart a lot. I guess they are right.